Current:Home > reviewsRelationship experts say these common dating 'rules' are actually ruining your love life -Wealth Momentum Network
Relationship experts say these common dating 'rules' are actually ruining your love life
EchoSense Quantitative Think Tank Center View
Date:2025-04-10 00:47:04
Don't text back too soon, or you'll seem desperate. Don't wait too long to text, or they'll lose interest. And don't ever, ever send two text messages in a row.
There are a lot of rules people set for themselves when it comes to the early stages of dating, particularly in an era when dating apps have upended the norms of how most singles meet and mingle.
Many of these self-imposed regulations, however, can actually hinder your chances of finding a healthy romance, according to relationship experts.
"Relationships are contextual," says relationship therapist Kimberly Moffit. "You have to understand the context of your 'situationship' or relationship and use your instincts, as opposed to just always following rules."
Here are some common dating "don't's" that experts encourage daters to let go of:
'Don't text back too soon (or too late)'
Text anxiety has become a staple of online dating. "Am I writing too much? Too little? What if I respond too quickly, and they think I have no life?"
Yes, it's probably wise not to drop everything going on in your life to respond immediately. But you also don't have to feign being busy.
"In dating, someone's going to figure out who you are eventually," Moffit says. "If you're a naturally busy person and you have stuff going on, there's going to be times where you take a few hours to respond and then there's going to be other times where you're there and you get into more of a texting conversation."
Bottom line, she says: Respond when you have time and when it feels natural to do so.
Dating burnout is real:How to find love while protecting your mental health
'Don't date more than one person at a time'
How about: Don't put all your eggs in one basket instead. Celebrity matchmaker and online dating expert Carmelia Ray says there's no need to cut yourself off from other connections if you're still in the early stage of dating someone new, what she calls the courting process.
"It takes a while to get to know somebody, so if you're going to invest all your time in one relationship, and then it doesn't work out, then you're back to ground zero," she says. "It's OK to be hanging out with two or three people to see who is actually consistent, because after a while you'll really know somebody's true colors."
More:How to start a good conversation on a dating app. Online dating advice from relationship experts
'Don't compromise on (superficial) standards'
Moffit and Ray agree: Many daters are far too strict about the type of person they're willing to go out with, leading them to rule out great options over superficial standards like height, location, education level or occupation.
Moffit encourages people to stay open-mind about these things. After all, you could have great chemistry once you meet in person.
"It's a personal decision of course with dating, but I do feel like it just restricts people that if you met them in the wild, you might just really love them," she says, adding you learn more about your attraction to someone from sensory information, such as the way they talk and move, than from information on a dating profile.
More:Videos of long blue text messages show we don't know how to talk to each other
'Don't bring up politics or religion (or anything interesting) on the first date'
Politics, religion and other controversial topics tend to be viewed as off-limits for early dates; however, they're important issues that can reveal someone's values and spark interesting discussion.
Moffit says it's OK to share views that are important to you early in dating, as they can deepen your connection and inspire conversation beyond the typical, 'So, what do you do?' banter.
"People do say things like, 'Avoid politics. Avoid business. Avoid religion. Avoid existential conversations,' " Moffit says. "The best first dates have a lot of deep conversations. How else are you going to get to know somebody and connect if you can't talk about the things that matter to you?"
Plus, if any of these issues do prove to be deal-breakers, isn't it better to be upfront about them sooner rather than later?
"You might have to turn off 80% of people in order to really appeal to the 20% who are the fit," Moffit says.
Are you dating a narcissist?Watch out for these red flags.
veryGood! (77)
Related
- Who's hosting 'Saturday Night Live' tonight? Musical guest, how to watch Dec. 14 episode
- Why is there an ADHD medication shortage in 2024? What's making generics of Vyvanse, Adderall and more so scarce
- A year after Ohio derailment, U.S. freight trains remain largely unregulated
- Tributes pour in as trans advocate Cecilia Gentili dies at 52, a week after her birthday
- 'No Good Deed': Who's the killer in the Netflix comedy? And will there be a Season 2?
- She asked for a Stanley cup, he got her an NHL Stanley Cup replica: A dad joke for our time
- Man who diverted national park river to ease boat access on Lake Michigan convicted of misdemeanors
- NBA trade grades: Lakers get a D-; Knicks surprise with an A
- Are Instagram, Facebook and WhatsApp down? Meta says most issues resolved after outages
- Will Lester, longtime AP journalist in South Carolina, Florida and Washington, dies at age 71
Ranking
- Cincinnati Bengals quarterback Joe Burrow owns a $3 million Batmobile Tumbler
- We know about Kristin Juszczyk's clothing line. Why don't we know about Kiya Tomlin's?
- The lonely throne of Usher, modern R&B's greatest showman
- Kentucky Senate committee advances bill limiting diversity, equity and inclusion initiatives
- Pressure on a veteran and senator shows what’s next for those who oppose Trump
- Attorneys for West Virginia governor’s family want to block planned land auction to repay loans
- MLB spring training schedule 2024: First games, report dates for every team
- Spike Lee, Denzel Washington reuniting for adaptation of Kurosawa’s ‘High and Low’
Recommendation
Brianna LaPaglia Reveals The Meaning Behind Her "Chickenfry" Nickname
Drivers using Apple Vision Pro headsets prompt road safety concerns
Disney buys stake in Fortnite-maker Epic Games with $1.5 billion investment
Polyamory has hit reality TV with 'Couple to Throuple.' Expect to challenge your misconceptions.
Juan Soto to be introduced by Mets at Citi Field after striking record $765 million, 15
Spencer Dinwiddie leads top NBA potential buyout candidates
Zillow launches individual room listings as Americans struggle with higher rent, housing costs
29 Early President's Day Sales You Can Shop Right Now, From Le Creuset, Therabody, Pottery Barn & More